As many of you know by now, I have selective memory. I don't remember a lot from my childhood. There are some very significant events that stand out, and there are a few minor details that I remember, but for the most part, I don't have a lot of memories before the 6th grade. And even those are a little thin.
I don't remember being a "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" child, or a "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? ARE WE THERE YET?" kid, but lately I've been asking almost anyone who will entertain the question, "How do you know when you've gotten to where you're supposed to be?". Since I've bored my family and friends with the philosophical exercise, I now pose the question to you.
Today, the question arises because I decided to text message a friend from the past that I'll call Thor. Thor and I were very good friends in college and I think we both thought that at some point we would end up married. In the past few years, Thor has gotten married and became father to an adorable baby boy. Initially when he called to tell me about his wife, I felt the ever constant wind escape from my sails. I think I was in a small state of shock. I was just so sure that he was the one. How could I have been so wrong? But after time passed, I could see how that relationship might not have been right for me - at least that's how I reasoned the shock away.
A couple of years ago, Thor called me to tell me that he thought about me a lot and thought that maybe he made a mistake by marrying his wife. Ah ha! Maybe I wasn't so wrong about him. But a few days into my daydreamy bliss, he deflated my sails again by saying that while he wasn't completely happy, he couldn't leave his wife and kids. At that point, I decided that I never wanted to talk to him again. Wouldn't care if our paths never crossed.
But last night, I had a dream about him. It made me wonder where he was and what he was doing. I sent him a text that simply said "Merry Christmas", and from that, a conversation ensued. It was so nice to hear his voice. And while I know he's not "the one", it did make me wonder how you know when you've gotten to where you're supposed to be.
Am I supposed to be married with kids, or have I reached my final destination where that is concerned? Am I supposed to be doing something else with my education, or am I already where I'm meant to be?
Here's the rant: Why doesn't life come with a road map?!
Six Word Saturday #424
6 years ago
7 comments:
My life and yours are different in a lot of ways and yet I'm asking a lot of the same questions regarding career and children. I've had the husband for ten years but no idea where the baby thing will go. Professionally, I think I trained in a field that was employable yet completely devoid of passion for me. Is 30 about the right time for a mid-life crisis?
Maybe the new year will bring some of us seekers some answers.
I don't know if there is ever a FINAL answer to these questions, to be honest. I think we go for a length of time, and re-evaluate, and find that our answer five or ten years ago won't be what we answer today. I know that I am married and have three children in my home. I also know that my life could have been drastically different with a couple of different choices, and I would still have been satisfied, I like to think. I wonder sometimes about people from the past, but dwelling on such thoughts is temptation that I bring on myself, and should be avoided. It's why so many people find divorce an option now, I think....but I digress.
Do what FEELS good, what feels right. Of course don't do these things without thoughtfulness and consideration, but still....action taken and errored is still better than no action at all. In my humble opinion. :) I hope you have a wonderful holiday.
Dang. I was hoping maybe your post would contain the answer, because I am sure still looking for it. There aren't many "things" or "people" that I envy, but there is something about just knowing that is envious. I like to think maybe it's just contenedness in those people though. It's my active mind that keeps me always guessing.
Come back from the holidays - we miss you :)
At think where we are for the moment is where we are suppose to be.
Yoo hoo! Where did you go? :) I was hoping to come here and find an update!
I hope all is well with you. I know it's been a month since you've posted. Take care of yourself.
Today is a very big day in the Where’s Wenda? Contest. I am visiting all of the SITS followers. Can I do it? There are around 1000 followers. Oh my! Better grab my cup of coffee and get on my way. Be sure to visit Hot Chocolate Caramel Mocha and Three Bay B Chicks as part of your contest entry.
-Wenda
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